Do You Have Someone Like This in Your Life? If Not... Good Luck

Some conversations are so superficial.

You get together with some friends, and afterward, you're just as smart as you were before.

The conversation did not go past the first onion layer. (Is that an official expression?)

With people you don’t know too well, I get it.

It’s small talk, I can handle that.

But with friends that have been around for a while, deeper conversations are a necessity.

What do you do if you don’t talk about topics that interest you, or more importantly, topics that offer a deeper insight into other people's minds or make you contemplate life and yourself?

Example

I met plenty of people that are surrounded by peers that constantly talk about women, alcohol, and party. And hitting the gym.

That cannot be the standard.

That could be the standard when you're talking about it in depth and hearing different and sophisticated opinions from time to time, but if there is no value in the conversation, you better pay attention.

If you surround yourself with people that never challenge you in a meaningful way and only feed yourself with nonsense, you will slowly become part of that reality.

And this is where you do not want to end up.

Why Am I Saying That?

Lately, I’ve been put in a challenging environment where I came across many people from all sorts of backgrounds.

Most of them have strong academic backgrounds and if that’s not the case, then they have meaningful experiences.

Interacting with these individuals and acquiring new concepts that you can put into your mental toolbox is

• Immensely important for your growth
• And, provokes constant personal challenges, because it forces you to become better and question your previous ideas.

All this external input is so valuable that it ultimately results in a character change.

And that’s what you’re looking for, character change.

--

You want to make steps ahead and not have constant conversations about the most basic things. That’s not where you’re learning and that’s not challenging you in any way.

Sure, sometimes it’s good to switch off and just relax with the right people, but too much of that is Dead Time.

This Is the Person You Need in Your Life

I have that one friend, and every time we meet up, I am smarter than I was before.

Every time.

The conversation can be about whatever, but I'm always getting another perspective or my views are being challenged.

That also forces you to engage in the conversation and you pay closer attention to what you’re saying (in a good way).

It makes me think about my personal beliefs or statements and either abandon them or find the right words to support my view.

When you understand that you've just been blessed with fresh and enriching input, you know who you want to keep in your life.

These conversations are not forced, they are not scheduled, but they come naturally. Because there is interest and curiosity, coming from both sides.

Put It Into Practice

Of course, you can listen to podcasts, read books, and so on.

All of this is amazing.

But you have to use it somewhere.

If you express those learnings to someone, you can solidify them.

Slowly, you keep listening to your words, you speak them out loud and that’s when they become part of you.

And that's when you actively decide if they align with what you actually think.

• If yes, good.
• If no, adjust.

But you're definitely smarter than before. And next time, you will think more carefully before you speak.

And it's just a chain reaction from thereon.

Looking back on my life, most of my success and fulfillment started with conversations that were enriching in some kind of way.

Final Learnings

Find yourself a person in your life, a friend, a mentor, whoever, that you can have deep insightful talks. Something that you lay in your interest, and you will see where the conversation is going from there.

It will inspire you in a way that cannot be understood if not experienced.

Believe me, you lose so much if you don't engage in it. So many things you’re not even aware of.

Learn new things and start to live in a new world.

• A world that was different when you were 15.
• A world that was different when you were 20
• And a world that’s different when you’re 25.

That’s the beauty in it.

Take action and find that person.

You’ll head in the right direction.