How Mindset Shapes Your Reality - Ego and Adversity

Reality is neutral and not tailored to you.

"Ego loves this notion, the idea that something is “fair” or not. It's called narcissistic injury. It is when we take personally totally indifferent and objective events. We do that when our sense of self is fragile and dependent on life going our way all the time. Whether it's your fault or not. It's yours to deal with."

-Ryan Holiday

The quotation above can be seen as self-evident.

But to come to this realization in the first place is another matter. And even if you understood the concept, you have to put it into perspective at the right moments, because too often external events can hurt our morale.

Therefore, let me briefly summarize it again:

Reality is neutral, which means that no matter what event may occur, from the objective perspective, it is a normal and non-judgmental course of events in our world.

Since we are egoistic beings, we naturally see the world only from our perspective and interpret the events as they please us. We have full power over the way of interpretation and our interpretation is completely tuned to us.

Small Deviations

I have an important meeting at 10:00 AM and my train was supposed to get me to the place on time. All of a sudden, the train will be delayed for more than 2 hours.

“I have to get to my class at 10, how can they be late again?"
"No way this is happening to me right now?"

... hyperventilates and mood is killed.

Guess what, it happens more often than you think, not just to you, but to every other person who has faced life before.

I'm talking about delays, misunderstandings, embarrassments, and yes, train cancellations (without question, every customer of the "Deutsche Bahn”).

Especially when it comes to a system like a transportation network, where all the time indications were specified to the minute.

Those times are based on so many small factors that sometimes, making an accurate time estimation is impossible.

Of course, as a customer, we expect a certain punctuality because our time is valuable and we pay for this service and we need reliability.

But some systems, especially when influenced by human action, are just too complex to think that way.

Ideally, everything goes according to plan, but just like in sports betting. The better team with the better players wins, ideally.

Unfortunately, the ideal case only applies if all the small factors in that huge and complex system, play along.

As you you've probably experienced, there is always "someone" not playing along. Sometimes it doesn't make a difference, sometimes it does.

This is how life works.

Our environment is too complex to predict it to the second or minute. Small deviations and unexpected events have the power to change the complete structure and therefore, change the outcome of the situation.

The Principle of Risk

There might be a high probability that something will occur, but if it's not 100%, there is always a certain degree of risk involved.

Even when all odds point to success, sometimes the coin lands on the wrong side. This is how the principle of risks works.

Sometimes good decisions are made and they have an 80% chance of being successful, but sometimes you just end up on the side of the unfortunate 20%, this is the reality of risk.

Of course, we are only human and quickly reach our limits. At certain moments, we are overwhelmed by emotions, which makes it difficult to think optimally.

However, when we understand what we are capable of within our means, we are in full control.

Everything takes practice and the difficult things face the strongest adversity, but that’s what makes them so powerful.

Next Time You Face Adversity

If I should face adversity again, I have a choice.

I can complain and give in to the negative emotions or I can come up with another plan that will direct me to my goal and solve my problem.

It's all a matter of attitude and how I evaluate the situation.

Whether frustration overwhelms me or I come up with a solution is up to my mindset and beliefs.

Choosing the right attitude at the right moments is like a game. Not every game can be won.

Sometimes you lose and sometimes you win.

The question is, do you lose 8 out of 10 times or 2/10?