Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Path (And What to Do Instead)

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been in places I just didn’t belong.
Nothing clicked. Not the people. Not the work. Not the energy.

Sometimes I thought I was the problem.
Other times, I blamed everyone else.
Turns out… I just didn’t understand myself.

You see, there is a reason why you resonate with specific types of people. Why you’re interested in specific types of books, art, music, movies…

Everyone has different preferences and tendencies.

Some of them are the result of our upbringing, but a huge part stems from our innate character traits.

For most people, this is obvious. But what's also obvious is that most people don’t live in alignment with who they actually are.

They follow advice from random influencers on social media because they flex with shiny objects to get their attention.

They’re not speaking to their deeper values — 
They’re just hitting emotional triggers that you can’t resist.

People stray from their authentic path for exactly that reason.

If you don’t know the difference between primal urges and your actual personality traits, you’ll keep getting pulled off track.

If you’re like me, your parents probably told you to do good in high school and then go to college. With your lack of self-agency, you then pursue a degree that can “give you options” in your future — or you choose a degree solely for the money.

Then you end up in one of those jobs that might even give you exactly that — money and a career.

But it comes at the expense of joy, meaning, and fulfillment.

Suddenly, you will be 10 years in, wondering why your life is so shit (classic midlife crisis) and it never occurred to you that your decision making was in complete misalignment with your true nature.

Your career and personal life were built on an inauthentic foundation because you never took the time to introspect.

This is the trajectory of being on autopilot.

Instead, you should have introspected. 

Have you ever asked yourself why you prefer:

• Improvisation over structure
• Language over numbers
• Deep conversations over shallow small talk
• Art over science
• Working alone over working in a group

Imagine you actually do prefer languages over numbers, you strive when working alone and get energised by using your creativity, but you work as a Logistics Coordinator where you mostly deal with strict processes, follow rigid protocols, and need to communicate daily with multiple departments and have absolutely nothing to do with what I just mentioned in the first part of this sentence.

This is misalignment. A recipe for misery.

This is what happened to me.

I never paused to understand who I really am — what drives me, what drains me.

Instead, I chose a job without knowing myself.

I followed shiny objects. I followed the money.

What I should have done is do proper research and figure out:

• What am I naturally good at?
• What are my weaknesses?
• Do I prefer high or low-pressure environments?
• Do I work better under structured or independent leadership?

Maybe you’re an elephant trying to win a tree-climbing contest against monkeys.

Maybe you’re a lion, meant to hunt in the jungle, but instead you’ve built your life underwater, surrounded by fish.

If you’d make decisions that are true to who you are — decisions that favour your strengths instead of your weaknesses — decisions that fuel your values, instead of disregarding them — by how much do you think could you increase the quality of your life?

20%? 70%? 130%?

Think about the amount of clarity and joy that would bring you.

And also, imagine how much suffering it would remove.

3 Tools That Will Help You Understand Yourself Better

Let me give you 3 resources that can give you the amount of clarity you need to make better life decisions:

Personality Type

To find out your personality type and to understand what makes you tick, take this test: Free personality test | 16Personalities

You can find countless information on their website about your specific personality type, about:

• Career Advice
• Personal growth 
• Romantic Relationship
• Friendships
• Learning Style

And more.

Top Strengths

To find out your Top 5 Strengths, take this test: Measures 24 Character Strengths

You will need to create an account, but it’s worth the 5 seconds.

Top Values

To find out your top personal values, take this test: Core Values Quiz

At the end, it shows you the 3 core values that are driving your motivation. It also breaks down how to apply those values in your work, decisions, and daily life.

Remember, this doesn’t replace experience.

You cannot make accurate decisions without a decent amount of information.

The more experience you have, the more data you have to choose from.

You cannot replace the trial and error process, but it definitely helps if you pursue it with more clarity.

For example.

I am an INFP — meaning I’m introspective, quiet, and energised by solitude.

I enjoy not talking to people, and I prefer deep reflection over small talk.

I prefer meaning and purpose over money.

A year ago, I chose to work in Sales as a Sales Rep. My main task: Cold Calling… EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I’m surrounded by extroverts, where money is the main topic of most conversations.

And I’m engaged in daily uncomfortable human interactions over the phone.

How the fuck did I end up there??

By making decisions solely based on external factors, following the money and not paying attention to who I am and what my strengths are.

So don’t make this mistake.

Take a moment today to understand who you are. Grab those tests, reflect, and let a new level of clarity guide you.

Start there — and the rest will come.