5 Quick Lessons That Can Either Make or Break Your Goals

It helped me. It can help you.

Applying these lessons to my life has freed up so much space in my life and allowed me to focus on the things that really do me good.

You've probably heard it before.

“You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with"

That might be true. But this post is not limited to people.

How much control you have over your environment is often overlooked.

At some point in your life, it's on you to decide where to live, what to consume, and what you want out of life.

My problem and I think many of you can relate, was that I didn't really have many friends who wanted to go in the same direction as me.

We share the same interests but our goals differ. I started to realize that when having deeper conversations with them, the quality of input I would get wasn't what I expected. Input that wasn't aligned with where I wanted to go. I wouldn't label it as bad, but just not relevant to my mission.

And that's something I started paying attention to, and so should you.

So over the last couple of years, I was exposed to all sorts so people, and foreign environments, while constantly fueling my mind with new learnings.

Here are a few lessons that I wanted to share with you, to facilitate your personal development journey.  

1. Apply a Filter to Your Life

There are so many variables out there. So much information but if you clearly define where you want to go, you know what to look out for.

Among the hundreds and thousands of variables, there are 3 or 5 that really make the difference. Only a few variables make the difference and take you further. Find them and then double down.  

There is no way around it, I have to get back to the famous quote above. Your friends and how they shape you.

Have you ever been with old friends from school days or sports clubs that you once spend a lot of time with but suddenly feel like you can't connect anymore? Then you switch environments and experience people with whom you share deep interests.

The difference is like night and day. The output you get is so much more valuable and the inspiration you receive sets you in a different state of mind. A better one.

Find those people and stay in contact!

But do not rush and cut people who do not give you immediate inspiration. Give them a chance first, because not everyone feels as comfortable or is used to talking with others about life and their thoughts. Maybe the environment you're in is prohibiting that from happening.  

Start by asking relevant questions and see what comes back. There might be a lot to learn, but if you just cannot get past their shell and it stays too superficial, bye-bye.

2. Be Careful About Who or What You Listen To

I don't necessarily just mean people, but podcasts, books, etc.

The modern age literally offers you a free library. There is knowledge about everything out there. Everything has been said already.

Your job is to find these words. Find them in your field of interest.

I'm talking about books, podcasts, and learning platforms such as Coursera or Skillshare.

You have the privilege to learn anything you want.

The other day I ordered a book about mental models. After the first 20 pages, I had to put the book down. I was so overwhelmed with inspiration and new thinking concepts.

I couldn't believe that this book had cost me only $20 and the things I learned within 20 pages could have never been taught to me in school or somewhere else.

People invest their whole life into writing books like this and you purchase that for a couple of bucks.

Think about how crazy that is.

I have literally spent as much money acquiring new skills that help me make better decisions and understand reality better, as I have on buying a pizza.  

Real knowledge costs almost nothing, and if so, it's cheap.

Invest your money and time in it and life will lead you in the right direction.    

3. Application and Reflection of Knowledge

Your podcasts and books have the power to sharpen your mindest, but what good is it when these thoughts are just floating around in your unconsciousness?

Don't be too passive about it. Action and application have to come from yourself.

There is the myth that knowledge is power. That's not really true.

The application of knowledge is power

Much better.

As soon as whatever you read or listen to, grabs your attention and you think you're smarter than before, write it down.

Just because you came across a new learning once, you think it will stick forever?

What about 3 weeks from now?

Simple solution: Write it down, apply, and reflect.

Expose yourself to what you've learned on a daily or weekly basis. Then it will stick and you'll understand it much better. Trust me.

Finishing X books or podcasts will serve you nothing when you don't apply and reflect on it.  

4. Watch How You Design Your Environment

Understand that what you expose yourself to, will ultimately influence your behavior and make your life easier.

Example.

So I'm in the office and my boss brought chocolates. They were right on the shelf in the hallway, which meant that every time I had to go to my desk or the bathroom, I passed them.

I paid close attention to not only my behavior but others too.

People that were usually just passing by my desk would suddenly stop to grab some chocolates. Then when they came back, they grabbed another one. The funny thing is that you could see how one part of them was willing to grab the chocolate and the other part was fighting against it.

With some of them, you could see the inner struggle in their eyes.

After 8 hours in the office, they must have eaten 4 or 5 pieces.

I refused to eat any at the beginning, but since there was temptation, my demons started to get louder. After day 3, I showed a moment of weakness and decided to have one.

Guess what, after day 6 I must have eaten 8 or 9 in total.

So the lesson here is, don't make it harder on yourself. If you know you have some cravings from time to time, don't buy sweets if they prohibit you from reaching your goals or put them somewhere where you really have to go out of your way to get them.

If temptations are too easy to get to, you dramatically increase the likelihood of letting distractions take over and bring you further from where you want to get.      

5. Future Planning

The example I mentioned above plays a crucial role when it comes to planning your future.

Another example.

I moved to a new city and needed to find an apartment.

Looking back, it was so important that I explicitly thought about my goals and how my apartment search could help me reach them.

3 Priorities

Save money (public transportation is expensive) --> I live a 10-minute walk away from work    

I want to stay healthy and go to the gym --> The gym is right across the street from my office and I can go jogging near my apartment.

I need to find a place where I can study in peace --> The office is the perfect place for that

You see, even though I wasn't 100% aware of how important it was for me to live close to work when I was looking for an apartment, I'm glad it turned out that way.

I live in a location that perfectly aligns with my goals and facilitates that process.

Imagine you have the same priorities as I do, but you have to travel 1 hour back and forth. Still, very much doable, but so much more complicated, and in the long run it's much harder to sustain.

Use my situation as an example next time you make a big decision.

I hope you could find some value in my life lessons.